Goodbye to My Knight in Shining Armor
This is the weirdest thing I have done in my life to date. I mean, what am I thinking writing a public letter about something so personal. But as of now, I cannot think of any other way of doing this.
He was there in what I consider as the darkest days of my life. I discovered my longtime boyfriend cheating on me with another woman. He was my everything, my best friend, my constant companion, and my family. My whole world fell apart when I lost my boyfriend. I chose to lose all hope and just give up on life, but this guy was there. He opened my eyes and gave me a new heart to start with. He didn’t promise anything and for more than a month, I didn’t mind but after that month, I found out why.
He may have thought that I was using him because now, my cheating ex boyfriend and I are back together. How I wish I could tell him that the truth is, I feel that I am using my ex to get over him. This guy and I- we were inseparable. He made my heart beat so fast and so slow at the same time. We shared emotions, feelings, and things only to be shared by people who are bound by love. I didn’t think we needed anything else but there was one thing I overlooked that should have been important. I overlooked his commitment to me. He didn’t promise anything because he knew he wasn’t going to be there for long, or did he plan this all along?
I never saw it coming. All of a sudden, poof! He was gone… and I found myself in my ex boyfriends arms. I could not understand it. I wish I had the guts to tell him, but I’m wondering if God put me in this situation for a purpose. He gave me back my ex boyfriend, the only person in this world who committed and promised himself to me. I know he is sincere and I know he is regretting his mistakes but I cannot help but compare him to my knight in shining armor who treats me like a princess. Though I do know that whatever happens, I will always come back to my ex even if he does treat me like sh*t sometimes because I know he loves me.
So to that guy, wherever he is now, whoever he is dating, and whatever he is doing (I know he reads the Sunday paper.) I wish you’d get that this letter is for you. Thank you for helping me come this far. Thank you for the new heart and for the chance of breaking it again. Thank you for all those times you made me smile and lifted my spirit when I was all down and low. Thank you for the hugs and kisses. They were the sweetest I had ever had. Thank you for the time well spent, for the realizations and truths that I now hold ever so dear.
I now understand that not all the people we love, we can have. I now understand why my boyfriend, and was once an ex boyfriend, cheated on me. You helped me understand that in this real world, nothing in my ideal world exists. I know that my boyfriend’s mistakes made me come back to reality. And even though I really really wish I can have you in my arms again, I know that it will be impossible and telling you and confessing what I feel will just be futile because we both know we are just not meant to be. I cannot tell it to your face but I hope this letter will do, So to everyone else out there who has some feelings for a certain someone they know they cannot have, help me smile and say goodbye to my knight in shining armor. To the guy with five letters in his name that ends with a *. I love you and goodbye.
